Deep Space Rock & Rollin'
by Hanzo Hattori
Summary: Five years have past and Naota has been forced to continue on with his boring life. But what happens when a power greater than Atomsk's emerges? Now the IIB, Medical Mechanica, and the rest of the galaxy are looking for that power...Naota. RxR Please.
1. DSR&R Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FLCL in any way shape or form and any original characters, names, places, etc. are property of Gainax. The author does reserve the right to any original characters, places, etc. that are used and the story is for entirely non-profit purposes.  
  
**Author's Note:** This is the first fan fiction I've ever done, period. I loved FLCL and decided to make my own sequel. This is just the prologue and Chapter 1 is on its way so please bear with me, and please read and review so that I may improve my story.  
  
_Five long years…   
_  
Half a decade of living and yet with no life at all. How does someone truly live when some would say that truly living includes being around those you love. To Naota Nandaba living out his life in a happy and dedicated manner had ended five years ago, when Haruko and Mamimi decided to fade from his life thanks to some dumb Pirate King and childhood and adults and…and… just a swirling vortex of circumstances that were never under the, then, 12-year-old boy's control.  
  
It wasn't that Naota acted manic depressive, paranoid, suicidal or any other sort of understandable mental defect that would afflict a person with losing those he loved so dearly, so quickly…that and sustaining enormous amounts of cranial injury thanks to a special Rickenbacker Bass guitar that now sat in the corner of his room, untouched and quite nicely polished. Naota now, very simply, could not enjoy who he was and what he had become.   
  
He had changed, going from the beginning of puberty to the end of it is the most crucial of changes a person can undergo. Unlike his father, Kamon, who still seems to be foolishly lagging yet in his psychopath adolescent mind thanks to some freak hamster death when he had been in school, Naota is much…quieter. Instead of how he once acted in his attempts at emulating grown ups, he no longer tries anything, at all. Naota feels no joy, no happiness, just a simple need to get on with life and over with it. The only thing he seems to relish, is when he gets mail from Mamimi, well not quite written mail, more like a collection of photos that seem to evolve into a collage that he has begun to pin en masse on the wall of his room. He would always, very silently, look over the most recent updates on Mamimi's adventures as a photographer and very delicately play Haruko's former bass guitar, a reflection of a tormented soul that won't admit as much.  
  
Somehow though, Naota felt a need for change. It was if a change in the wind or some sort of alignment of the planets was calling out to him. Something would happen, very soon and very fast, and unless he was ready, Naota would miss his chance. He wasn't sure what chance he'd be missing or when it would come about but some strange biorhythm deep inside of him echoed out for alertness.  
  
It was late, nearly midnight, if Naota read the illuminated digital clock correctly. He rolled over to look directly up to the bottom of the top bunk. A thought about his brother, Tasuka, entered his mind but he quickly banished it with a wave of his hand. He sat at the edge of his bed and stopped… something felt different, he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it seemed as if something lurked at the edge of his very mind, reminding him, urging him.  
  
Pulling on some blue jeans and a dark-as-night long sleeved shirt, Naoto groggily grasped Haruko's former bass guitar by its long neck and began walking outside in a complete daze. Once the night breeze hit his face, Naoto mind fully awakened. Looking about in mild surprise, he ran a hand through his messy black hair, blinking blurrily up at the shining silver moon. It was full tonight and the sky was clear, allowing the its illuminating rays to light up the small town of Mabase rather brilliantly. Something drew his gaze however, just to the right of the moon. Squinting his eyes he saw a shape, he wasn't sure what, but it became obvious as it flew at breakneck speed past the moon, like some dark shooting star. It was then that Naota noticed…it was heading towards the old bridge.  
  
Swinging the bass guitar over his right shoulder, not that he noticed he even had it anyways, Naota ran his fastest towards the bridge, a flood of locked away memories came rushing back to him in full force, his chance had come and something nagged at him that he should know now exactly what it was. Naota could guess but tried to suppress the evil emotion of hope as for the first time in five years, a smirk touched his usually grim features.  
  
_Five long years…_


	2. A Reunion and a Busted Head

**Disclaimer: **My characters, places, etc. are my property, anything else belongs to Gainax and I take no right to owning FLCL.

**Author's Notes: **First Chapter, I did my best to capture Haruko's zany attitude and how quick her "conversations" seem to move. Please Read and Review.

The streets of Mabase were strangely silent, cars were parked neatly on the side of the streets, bicycles were chained to various traffic signs, and in the very distance sat the Medical Mechanica factory, the giant golden iron, though smoke no longer poured fourth from it and sat rather desolate against the starry night sky. It was that place that had caused a young and dysfunctional twelve year old to learn what it means to accept oneself but also the place that unleashed the events that tore Mamimi and Haruko from him.  
  
_Could it be her?_ Naota thought frantically as he scurried down the paved street. _No, it couldn't…but then why am I running like an idiot in the middle of the night?_ Naota asked himself, almost bitterly, as his bare feet pounded on the pavement in one long sprint for his destination. The barren streets made for an unconscious shudder to run through Naota's youthful body.   
  
_Even if it is…her… what makes you think she'll feel the way she did about y-_ Naota stopped his mental argument. What did he care if she felt about him the way he had when he had been twelve, when Atomsk had finally emerged from him and fled. Haruko had said he was 'just a kid' and gone off in pursuit, leaving behind a devastated Naota. With a sigh, Naota pushed his sprint even harder, ignoring the strain in his lungs and legs.  
  
Sometime later Naota skidded to a stop under the old bridge where he had spent so many childhood days with Mamimi. He nearly doubled over, gasping for breath, the polished Rickenbakcer Bass still held over his right shoulder firmly. It was his last memory of Haruko and as much as he wished he could banish it to whatever watery depths that lay under the bridge, he knew he never could. How could someone try and destroy what had changed their lives so radically and ultimately became a way of life?  
  
Naota sat back, hard, holding the bass in front of him by the neck like a walking stick. The troubled teen craned his neck back to examine the twinkling sky for anymore signs of what his brain told himself was some obscure space particle falling to Earth but what his heart told him was something otherwise, something special.  
  
After several minutes of waiting, Naota became frustrated. How could he be so stupid!? Foolishly running all the way across town like some little kid with idiotic hopes of seeing her again. Standing back to his feet and resting the large bass against the side of the bridge, Naota searched his pants pockets for a cigarette, he had taken up smoking a year ago when he found that school was just adding too much stress to his life for him to handle correctly.   
  
Shaking his head when he found no way to release his frustration Naota simply snapped, grabbing the bass and holding it high above his head, ready to smash the last memory he had of her against the hard stone of the bridge (though subconsciously he knew it'd probably end up ripping a hole in the bridge).  
  
" Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT! I've had ENOUGH of thinking of her, of THEM!" Naota swore, rather loudly, and wound up, ironically just as Haruko had taught him when he had bash the massive space mine that had headed for Earth so many years ago. Before Naota could shift and put his full weight into the swing a yellow, gloved hand, caught a hold of the bass from behind.  
  
" Who's 'her', hmmmm Ta-kun?" asked a much too familiar voice, as first a nose, then lips, then the distinctive peach hair that dangled loosely from under the hard gray helmet came into Naota's peripheral view. The yellow gloved hand yanked the bass backwards, sending the wide eyed and shocked Naota flying backwards and onto his backside. The intruder peered closely at the stone that made up the bridge.  
  
" Har-Har-Haruko? " Naota gasped out, rubbing his head then his backside as he slowly came to his feet, his eyes wide in disbelief. He had hoped, of course, but never truly expected Haruko to come barging back into his life like this…  
  
" Oh he REMEMBERS me! " Haruko squealed in the whackiness that she always exhibited, jumping around and waving her bass, " C'mere Ta-kun!" she sang, rushing forward excitedly, grabbing Naota by the collar, and smashing him into one of the none-to-familiar kisses that Haruko had laid on him before.  
  
Naota's eyes seemed to widen even more, if it were even possible, and he looked liked some sort of shocked frog and would have tried to say something, except that Haruko smashed the much abused Naota into her sizeable breasts after the hug as he flailed away.  
  
"It's been sooooo long since I've seen you Ta-kun! You've certainly grown in that time!" Haruko ripped Naota from slowly suffocating him in her bossoms to about arms length. Even though he was now taller than her and would sensibly seem stronger, Haruko had some sort of unbreakable kung-fu grip to her. Needless to say Naota stopped his flailing momentarily, seeing the futility of it. Naota actually blushed ever so slightly as the returned alien ran an approving gaze over his form, lingering in some areas that most people would consider…inappropriate.  
  
" So why did you come back?" Naota asked after a moment, something that significantly changed Haruko's demeanor back to her normal smirking self. All she did was point out behind him. Naota, unthinking, began to turn only to suddenly catch on and turn around…just in time to meet the massive sweep of a large Rickenbacker Bass Guitar straight into his forehead.  
  
" Because I saw you first Ta-kun!" Haruko remarked, back to her ever-so-whacky antics, and grabbed the spinning Naota by the arm, flinging him around and onto her yellow Vespa which sat parked only a few yards away. With that Haruko strapped her old bass to her back, hopped onto the sleek, yellow Vespa and took off down the streets of Mabase for the Nandaba bakery and residence, a huge grin plastered across her face as she used one hand to snap her goggles on over her eyes….


	3. A little Fooly a little Cooly

**Disclaimer:** FLCL is not mine nor any characters used, all original characters, places, etc are mine.

**Author's Notes:** Ok, starting to introduce the plot, most questions should be answered next chapter, I wanted to develop the reunion stuff first, meeting with Kamon and such.

" FOOOLLLYYYY COOOLLLLYYYING!?" Kamon exclaimed, making wild hand gestures as his face spasmodically changed threw just about every emotion imaginable.

" Not again….." Naota sighed, embarrassed by his over-excitable family and their seemingly deliberate efforts to appear completely weird. Not for the first or last time, Naota began to wonder why his father was the only immature adult in Mabase.

" See you Fooly Cooly like this, with your hands, see?" Shigekuni, Naota's grandfather and local baseball team coach, made several random hand gestures on a table, grim faced, as Haruko leaned over his shoulder and watched with mock interested. If one moment in his life need not be repeated, it was this one, Naota thought to himself.

" Mouth to mouth…..WHAT!?…Like this…He is….FOOLY COOLYING?" came the seemingly exact same conversation from the trio as Naota walked upstairs to his room with an exasperated sigh. He should have seen it coming, knowing how excitable his father was and how much Haruko loved to lead on just about anyone.

Naota pulled a cigarette out of a nearly depleted pack in his desk drawer. After grabbing a lighter from the top of his desk, he quickly flicked on the lighter. Putting the cigarette in his mouth and bringing the small flame to the end he took one, deep, drag. He began to see exactly why Mamimi had smoked so often as the acrid taste of the cigarette filled his mouth and lungs. Naota began to take another drag when some loud, mechanical sound seemed to be coming from where he had left the zany trio.

Naota cocked his head slightly, the sound was getting somewhat louder, he quickly cupped his right hand over his ear, his lit cigarette hanging lazily at the edge of his mouth.

Vroom….bum bum bum….vrrroooommmm

The teenager frowned, still unsure of exactly what the sound was. He moved closer to the door, his hand still cupped over his ear, the sound got louder…

Put put put….vrrrooooommm……bum bum…..

Enthralled, Naota edged forward, putting his head up against the door before taking a good drag of his cigarette, blowing some smoke out over his shoulder. Naota's face creased into an even deeper frown as he tried to discern exactly what the sound was as it seemed to drown out the loud conversation that should have been going on.

PUT PUT PUT….VRRROOOOOMMMMM

Naota's eyes grew wide, his mouth went agape, the halfway smoked cigarette dropping and slowly spinning to the floor. Naota knew exactly what the sound was, where it was coming from, but knew it was much too late to make a move to dodge in any direction whatsoever.

BOOM! The panel that acted as Naota's door was blown apart as a roaring yellow Vespa smashed through, sending Naota flying head over heels right out his window and spiraling with a magnificent "UMPH!" into the concrete sidewalk below. Seconds later, Kamon landed in a huge heap beside him, raising his bruised face and smiled in a daze, several teeth seemed to be missing, before passing out.

" Hey Ta-kun! I decided to refuse your dad's offer of staying in his room and staying in yours! We're roommates again!" Haruko leaned out of the massive opening that used to be a delicate window in Naota's room, still seated upon her Vespa that she had charged Kamon with. "Oh and I get top bunk! " she called out again, a sharp grin came to her face before she poked back into the house. Moments later the yellow Vespa revved then screeched as Haruko threw it into reverse. From within the house came sounds of harsh swearing from Naota's grandfather, glass shattering, and several unameable objects breaking into pieces.

" Uhh…Ta-kun, you might want to have your toilet fixed, your grandfather broke it with his head! " Haruko called loudly from deep within the depths of his once clean and neat house. Vulgar swearing seemed to come nearly immediately after the self-proclaimed alien woman had blamed a broken toilet on Naota's grandfather, but it was suddenly muffled.

" Sometimes, I just wonder, why me? " Naota asked himself, slowly gathering himself up and bravely marching into his house, preparing to brave whatever terrors Haruko had unleashed upon his family's simple abode.

--------------------

DUNUNUNUNUNU BLANG BLANG BLANG REEOOOOOWWWWW

Haruko had been playing her bass for the last 5 hours while Naota and Shigekuni had gone about cleaning up their house. Kamon was still out on the street, groaning, but no one really paid him any attention. The massive hole in Naota's wall was now boarded up, though the carpentry was somewhat shoddy, it kept the cold wind out.

" So if x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared…." the stressed teenager was now yelling to himself in an attempt to compete with the extreme bass playing that Haruko was unleashing on the house and nearly half the block. He had school tomorrow, and like it or not, he needed to keep his grades up and that meant being able to think!

" It's been a long time since I rock and rollllleeedddd…." Haruko sang, none to expertly either, and slammed some more chords out, so loud that Naota was almost certain she'd blow up this amplifier too, heck the entire neighborhood was close shorting out on electricity.

" THAT'S IT!!!!" Naota yelled, enraged now, snapping his pencil into pieces and shoving himself back from his desk. Haruko stopped playing, a blank look on her face as she watched Naota get up, almost calmly, then suddenly grab hold of her bass and try and break it over his knee.

A long moment passed as the bass neck seem to just sit across the top of Naota's knee, the teenage boy staying in that position for long seconds, seemingly frozen in time, his eyes as wide as saucer plates.

" Uh-oh…" Haruko said innocently, a surprised expression painted across her attractive features as she watched Naota slowly shake. Her face slowly turned into an innocent grin however as Naota threw up the bass, flailed his arms, and grabbed his knee, hopping about his room.

" HOLY %$(&$! MOTHER %%$ MONKEY $$$%##!!!" Naota swore enough to make a truck driver or even his father wince as he flailed wildly at his injured knee, smashing into and knocking over several things in his room. Haruko began to laugh, rather hard, putting a hand over her mouth then grabbing her sides. It was all exaggerated, however, just to piss of Naota who took the bait.

" Haruko!!!!" Naota threatened the alien woman, gingerly letting go of his abused knee and turning an icy glare on her. He was about to take a step when Haruko did something that made him stop dead. Haruko slowly raised her bass into what she could trademark as the N-O Channel swing.

" Uh….Wai-" Naota never finished as Haruko's face curled up into a huge smile and began to let fly with giant swipes in the tiny room with her bass, all viciously aimed for Naota's exposed head.

" Ack! No Wait! Haruko, what in hell are you doing!? " Naota managed to asked, jumping aside at another brain mashing blow, deftly sliding under another as missed strikes further tore up his room. Somehow, by instinct, Naota managed to dodge most of her swings, and decided to step within her range. Haruko , according to Naota's plan, stopped swinging, but very unexpectedly grabbed him by the collar with her free hand and dragged him in close, smashing her lips to his in a ferocious kiss that took him completely by surprise.

With a deft twist of the wrist, Haruko hurled Naota back into an ideal striking range, pulled back and swung extra hard, before Naota could come out of his dazed embarrassment. The bass contact with a loud chord accompanying it as Naota was hurled straight through the boards covering up the hole in the wall as if they were nothing. The surprised teenager fell all the way back down to his previous spot on the parking lot.

Haruko jumped down after Naota, gracefully landing on the sidewalk and walking up to Naota's prone body, ignoring the still groaning heap that was Kamon situated nearby. She muttered something about how she had hoped that she hadn't killed him as she prodded Naota's body with her right toe, her Rickenbacker bass placed over her left shoulder, a somewhat concerned look on her face. She expected her Ta-kun to recover a little quicker like he had years ago when she had first bashed him on the head.

Naota, having only blacked out momentarily, quickly reached up and grabbed Haruko by her waist, pulling her down and rolling over, pinning her down under him, surprising Haruko only momentarily but she never showed it.

" If I knew Ta-kun had missed me THAT much, maybe I would have come back sooner!" Haruko giggled from her pinned position, knowing full well she could throw him right off her and smack him around a bit for as long as she wanted, his skull had always proven thick enough.

" Why the HELL did you just hit me with your bass!? Atomsk, you know, the Pirate King who you left me to pursue, CAME OUT ALREADY!" Naota was breathing hard, anger filled his voice and his face was all red as he struggled through the monumental headache that seemed determined to make him feel like it was going to blow apart at just about any moment.

" To open a N-O Channel of course. I didn't think I hit you THAT hard Ta-kun, sheesh, it's as if the guy never got hit with a bass before.." Haruko rolled her eyes as the answer seemed so obvious that Naota may have asked what color the sky was.

" What is the POINT, though? Atomsk left!" A confused Naota asked, becoming exasperated by the second with the sing-song and nonchalant ways of Haruko, who still lay pinned beneath him.

" Because Ta-kun…" Haruko's voice grew softer, moving her head forward so that her mouth was almost next to his left ear, " YOU'VE GOT THE MOST CONDUCTIVE N-O CHANNEL CONDUCTOR IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!" Haruko yelled into Naota's ear, before throwing him off like a rag doll, picking him up and laying a big sloppy kiss on him, dumping him behind her and heading back into the house, humming the same song she had been playing earlier on the bass, leaving a confused Naota on the sidewalk staring up at the sky.

" THAT STILL DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!" The teenage boy yelled, scrambling to his feet and running inside his home to try and wrench some real answers from Haruko.


	4. The Immigrant Epic

**Disclaimer: **FLCL and all characters within it are property of Gainax, any original characters, places, etc. are my property.

**Author Note: **Uh, Chapter up, please Read and Review, thanks all. Oh and if you have a hard time reading Atomsk's letter, read it phonetically.

Naota stomped towards his room, his footsteps echoing loudly and mirroring his confusion and rage. He would NOT let Haruko twist him around her little finger like she had done those years ago. He was just some stupid twelve year old then, he was a wiser, more intelligent Naota now. He wouldn't be manipulated so easily!  
  
Resolved on how he would keep the situation in control, Naota went straight to the door, slid it open, and stalked inside, opening his mouth to give Haruko the lecture of her life. The only problem was…Haruko wasn't there! Naota wearily scanned his rather small bedroom with his eyes, bringing his arms up slightly, ready to ward off another bass blow. After a moment of utter silence, Naota slowly backed up, unsure of where Haruko lurked.  
  
" HIIIIIIII---YYYAAAA!!" Haruko squealed, falling from above Naota' her bass on her back, and landing sitting on Naota's shoulders.  
  
" Get….Off….Me…." Naota said, acid filling into his voice as he whirlwinded his arms in an attempt to keep his balance. For whatever reason, Haruko felt strangely heavier than he would have expected for the slimly built alien.  
  
" Oh Ta-kun, you're nothing but skin and booonnnneeesss!!!" she sang, horribly, again, unslinging her bass and strumming a chord. She quickly pulled some spicy curry bread from seemingly out of the air and began jamming them into Naota's gaping mouth.  
  
"MMMFffff!! PAH! I HATE that spicy stuff!" Naota spat out the bread almost immediately, grabbing Haruko under the arms and trying to toss her. He failed horribly, however, as Haruko wrapped her legs around his neck and began to play her bass in a completely unconcerned manner.  
  
"You said you wanted answers Ta-kun, I'll give them to you if you really want'um" Haruko leaned over to look Naota straight in the eyes, upsidedown, noses practically touching. Naota, wide eyed, merely nodded. This would be the first time he'd ever get a straight answer out of Haruko, he wasn't about to mess it up by saying something stupid.  
  
"Well, let's see, the reason I came back happened about…a year ago I think. Maybe it was earlier than that, maybe later, you see one time I had gone to this one Martian bar and I got so totally loaded that I was riding around on my Vespa through nothingness for we-" Haruko stopped when she noticed Naota glaring up at her menacingly as she went off topic, Haruko smirked ever so slightly, leaning back hard on Naota's shoulders and began to unfold her little tale.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
" Haaaaa! Atomsk is MINE you annoying little vultures!" Haruko challenged a veritable hoard of mutants, freaks, aliens, and other general low-lives who had come to gain Atomsk, the Pirate King's, powers.  
  
" We founds it! Wes keeps it!" A rather stupid and extremely ugly Martian, (then again, by our standards, puss oozing heads were never considered attractive), said, raising up some weird mix between a lawnmower and a chicken glued together, revving it. The rest of the crowd of punks seconded the speaker's words with threats of breaking, maiming, torturing, and even Gweeblorpin.  
  
Haruko said nothing, her unusually somber attitude causing some of the alien punks to shift slightly as she stepped back, holding a B.C. Richton Warlock guitar in a downward slant, hands tight around the neck of the guitar as if she were wielding a great axe.  
  
" Come on boys! Let's get her! Or are you all just a bunch of Mortins?" the ugly spokesman Martian called out to the mob at its first signs of weakness. It wouldn't do any good for the leader of the fearsome "Yank-a-Tentacle" Pirates, the most feared gang in all ten galaxies!  
  
"Oy! I ain't no Mortin!" called back one Neptunian and rushed forward, wielding a huge harmonica that gave off a white-like aura. Haruko wasted no time in stepped back and yanking her B.C. Rich forward, she moved so fast that the Neptunian had no time to react as the base of the guitar buried deep into its skull, cracking its head to pieces and killing it instantly.  
  
" Anyone else?" Haruko asked sweetly, though the blue blood that ran in small rivulets down her scooter helmet and face really seemed to suggest that the mob do otherwise. Not completely devoid of all common sense, the thugs did leave, in a rather unorganized matter. Most ended up hopping onto one motorbike and falling into nearby wormhole pockets that scattered their organs across the galaxy.  
  
" You may have scared me band o' pirates, but I'm getting' duh Pirate King's powers!" the ugly Martian, whose name tag was clearly read as 'Hello, my name is Zort', screamed as he rushed at Haruko.  
  
Haruko eased back on the guitar neck, ducking under the chicken mower that the Martian wielded and bringing it spinning about to impact just behind his knee, sending him sprawling forward. Showing absolutely no mercy or hesitation, Haruko hopped to her feet and buried the guitar deep into the back of the Martian's dead. She slammed it in so hard that she had to really heave up on the neck of the guitar to pull it out of the messy pulp that the Martian once called a brain-housing.  
  
Haruko sighed, visibly and uncharacteristically tired, wiping a yellow gloved hand across her forehead, which only served to smear the greenish-blue blood of her attackers across it. One look at the glowing, unmarked, and red lunchbox, she forgot her fatigue quickly. Haruko wasn't sure how, but somehow Atomsk had become stuck in one of her hyper-active floating mine traps, which coincidentally looked like a lunchbox.  
  
Moving forward, inch by inch, Haruko gingerly took off her one yellow glove and touched it to the top of the mine/lunchbox. Finally, she would capture the Pirate King's powers by eating the damn near impossible to catch Pirate Monarch. Licking her lips in anticipation, Haruko lifted the lunchbox top open, waiting for some spectacular event to happen, like a whooshing of color, immediate power, SOMETHING. Instead, all she saw was a bunch of spicy curry bread rolls and a ripped piece of parchment taped to the inside of the lunchbox, some scribbled words on it.  
  
Haruko, too intrigued at the moment to unleash enough alien woman rage to DESTROY several worlds, ripped the note off and brought it up to her face quickly, her eyes scanning the note. It read…  
  
' To Who itt Mey Consern,  
  
The powr of teh Pirat Keeng iz ownly eh pees of teh puzle, two unlok hiz tru powr, yu must find eh N-O Chanel strawng enuf to pul my map peeces from. Fede teh perzon wit teh N-O Chanel dis spezial curry, 1 taste wil doo it end you can pul out the map peeces when teh conditions ar met. Thiz iz not the Pirat King Atomsk who rote dis note.  
  
Much Luv end Looting,  
  
Atomsk'  
  
A series of crude drawings were made underneath the scribbling that acted as a map, pointing straight back to Mabase on Earth. Wasting not another word or silly sentence, Haruko slapped her goggles over her eyes, hopping on her nearby Vespa, leaning down and smacking the gas. The Vespa's one-dimensional flight engine roared to life, the wheels spinning and squealing, sending the grayish red sand that acted as the ground for this alien planet out in great blasts behind it. Haruko was coming back to Earth.  
  
----------------------  
  
Of course, Haruko told Naota absolutely nothing of this. Somewhere between the quotation marks and the letter "H" she had already gabbed a mile a minute about how strong Jupiter's "Blast-duh-Monkey" shake had been and this bad Chubshin she had taken had led her to think she was something akin to Jesus Christ for seven parsecs.  
  
Naota had given up long before she had stopped talking, moving over to the edge of his bunk bed, crossing his arms, and just looking angry as he waited for Haruko to shut her mouth. He wondered if he was even surprised that Haruko never got to the actual story and after a moment decided he wasn't.  
  
"…and that's why you should NEVER bet that the Alabaster Monkeys would EVER win a game of baseball!" Haruko finally finished, dropping forward lazily so that she landed right in Naota's lap.  
  
" Are you listening Ta-kun? Hmmm?" Haruko asked, knowing full well he hadn't been, but got up and moved so very close to him that he could feel her hot breath on his face. Naota, now used to the extremely flirtatious and sometimes downright obvious ways of Haruko, scowled heavily at the beautiful alien woman.  
  
"Alabaster Monkeys? " Naota grumbled the question, obviously trying to show Haruko the contempt he held for her incoherent ramblings and constantly being vague about why she had come back.  
  
" Yeah! They're great! " Haruko remarked, leaning back on her haunches and grinning prettily, she seemed content to just stare at him after that for the longest time that Naota finally had to throw up his hands in disgust and begin stalking out of his room.  
  
"Glad to see you too…Naota." Haruko smirked and whispered, plucking a chord on her bass and leaning against the wall.  
  
"What did you say?" Naota asked, sticking his head back into the room. She had definitely said something and Naota wondered if it had any relevance at all to her return, though he reprimanded himself mentally for his foolish hoping.  
  
" I said I'm hungry Ta-kun! Let's go grab some grub!" Haruko said cheerfully, strapping on her helmet, grabbing Naota by the arm, and practically dragging him out of the house to the Vespa that was parked neatly on the curb by the Nabada household......


	5. Yes and NO

**Disclaimer: **All original characters, places, etc. from FLCL are property of Gainax studios, any original characters/please/etc. that are made by me are mine!

**Author's Note:** This Chapter felt...kind of forced. I dunno, it seems kind of slow. I'll consider rewriting it later but for now, it'll do. First battle comes next chapter!

Naota stared with a dull shock masked with an annoyed scowl as he watched Haruko go to work on her 8th plate of rather expensive cuisine, using two sporks to shovel it into her mouth. In front of Naota sat a half eaten plate of rice with heated shrimp. Apparently Naota's next plan to try and get the truth out of Haruko by bribing her in a way with food, wasn't working.  
  
" Aren't…GULP you… CRUNCH gonna…MUNCH eat…MOO! Ta-kun?" Haruko asked between mouthfuls as she practically inhaled a lobster in mere moments. It seemed that the stares that the two got from the rest of the restaurant's patrons didn't affect her in the least.  
  
" Haruko! " Naota finally yelled, losing his nerve and slamming his fists on the table, getting up. "You're going to tell me EXACTLY why you came back or I WON'T pay for this feast you've managed to eat!"  
  
Haruko stopped eating, slurping up a stray noodle hanging from her mouth. With a toothy grin coming to her features, Haruko slowly raised herself up, resting on her fists, mimicking Naota. After a moment of just staring into her smoldering eyes she simply said "Thanks for the date, Ta-kun."  
  
"Wha-?" Naota managed before being pounced on, right on top of the table, as Haruko first started crushing him in some sort of bear hug, kissing him all over his face, then throwing him down, jumping on his back, then making some rather weird animal noises, finally jumping off, waving back to Naota wordlessly, and pulling on her helmet. In a flash Haruko was out the door and could be heard racing down the street on her Vespa as Naota lay limp on his table, shocked faces on all the patrons of the place.  
  
"HA…RU…..KOOOOOO!" Naota yelled after he took a moment to recover, throwing a couple of hundred yen on the table, not near enough to pay for the dinner, and ran out the door and down the street, flailing his arms like a madman and shouting obscenities at her.  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
After chasing Haruko's fading form for nearly a mile, Naota gave up, doubling over and breathing hard. Now that Naota thought about it, he knew that Haruko's Vespa could have been out of sight long before she had and realized she had led him on some wild goose chase for nearly a mile and a half.  
  
Shaking his head, Naota righted himself, pivoted on his right foot and took one step forward….right into a solid metal body, covered by a cheap Hawaiian shirt. After a moment of recovering from the pain shooting up his nose, Naota looked up into the TV-like face of Canti.  
  
At that very moment Haruko came flying over the roof of a nearby apartment building, using the pointed roof like a ramp. She seemed to freeze in mid-air at the zenith of her jump, then titled her Vespa downward, falling straight towards Naota. Before Naota could move out of the way, Haruko used Naota's head like an airbag for the wheels of her Vespa, bouncing off of it and coming to a clean stop. Naota looked blankly ahead for a few moments, then fell over like a board.  
  
" You…really suck Haruko…." Naota kind of gasped from his spot on the street.  
  
"…and well too, you'll find out soon enough!" Haruko replied, throwing a wink and a grin his way, silencing him in confusion and embarrassment, a blush actually painting his now quite deformed head.  
  
" I was wondering where you went!" Haruko turned to Canti, prodding the machine's chest with one, long index finger. Canti responded with an odd salute, then quickly ripped open his Hawaiian shirt, revealing several bumper stickers and postage stamps of where he had been. He seemed to point to his favorite, which read "I Can REALLY party in Neptune!". Had the robot a face, it would have been smiling broadly in accomplishment.  
  
" Hmm…well, OK, I SUPPOSE I could let you off the hook. Now go back to the restaurant over there and wash dishes until Ta-kun's debt is paid off, and no lip!" Haruko pointed, her beautiful features set into a Naota-like scowl, as if Canti had been the one who had eaten all that food and skipped out without paying. Canti lowered his TV head, trudging towards the restaurant, patting Naota's head in a really strange show of affection as he passed by.  
  
" Tsk tsk, what a lazy piece of junk sometimes," Haruko shook her head in mock disgust, "C'mon Ta-kun!" Haruko said, more of an order than question, grabbing the paralyzed mass of human and throwing him onto the Vespa, taking off at near impossible acceleration speeds on her bright yellow scooter.  
  
------------------------  
  
After several hours of driving, Haruko finally stopped deep in the wood in the nearest mountains whose name escaped Naota's battered brain at the moment. As much as Naota had wanted to question Haruko at every strange turn she made, something told him to keep quiet because for once he might get the answers out of Haruko that he had originally wanted.  
  
" Uhhh… Haruko, where are we goin?" Naota asked, curiously, from his rather smashed spot in between Haruko and the steering handles for the Vespa, like he had done when he was twelve.  
  
" You wanted answers, right Ta-kun? Well, I'm taking you to a place where I can really SHOW you what they are. " Haruko replied from above him in a strangely straightforward matter. Something was up and Naota hoped that Haruko was dragging him out into the middle of the woods to do some perverted freakish things to him. He would find out soon enough as the Vespa stopped in the middle of a small clearing soon after this initial thought.  
  
Haruko hopped off the Vespa and yawned up at the sun which was now falling from its zenith and heading west to set. She stretched her arms up then intertwined her fingers above her head, brought them back behind her back and cracked her bones that scored louder on the decibel scale then trying to cut rocks with a chainsaw.  
  
How absolutely obnoxious…I'm beginning to wonder if the only reason I had…loved her was because she'd bashed my brains in so many times that I couldn't think straight. Naota thought to himself as he stared rather blankly at Haruko's form as she seemed to stretch like a cat and crack her bones loud enough to shake boulders lose.  
  
After a moment she turned around, noticed Naota staring blankly in her direction and smirked slightly. "Like what ya see Ta-kun? You've really developed into quite the little pervert. Then again, like father like son they say here, hmm?" Haruko asked as she walked past Naota, retrieving her base and hopping up onto the handlebars of her Vespa, beginning to play random chords to the slowly setting sun.  
  
"Well, what now Haruko? Aren't you going to tell me the reason why you came back?!" Naota asked, disregarding her earlier question which had been meant to embarrass him. This time, Naota was resolved that he would NOT leave Haruko alone or do any favors for her until he got some truthful answers from her.   
  
"We wait, and when it's time, you see" she replied quietly, not even bothering to glance over her shoulder at Naota, content to just let her feet dangle over the handle bars of the Vespa and play a number of chords of a song that Naota didn't recognize. Shaking his head, Naota, wordlessly, took up a seat in the soft grass next to the Vespa handlebars, staring at the blank sky and wondering exactly why he'd been deemed to be the kid that had to grow up the fastest in the universe.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Something shook Naota, rather hard, but all he did was groan slightly and try and push whatever was shaking him away. No matter how old you get some things just never seem to change. Another shake and another groan, Naota refused to come out of his slumber that he had fallen into up against the Vespa. For a few moments, there was absolutely no disturbance, and then a thunderclap seemed to invade Naota's ears, punctuated by a dull pain shooting up the side of his head as his eyes snapped open.  
  
There, in front of him, stood Haruko, grinning and holding her Rickenbacker Bass by the neck, the actual base of the guitar pressed up against Naoata's head. Naota wasn't sure exactly what expression was on his face, surprise…maybe anger. Whatever it was, a murderous rage built up inside Naota and he lunged at Haruko, hands outstretched and ready to throttle her.  
  
Haruko grinned broadly, grabbed Naota by his wrested and voluntarily fell back, bringing her right foot up and flinging him head over heels to land on his back with a soft thump. In a flash, Haruko was on top of Naoata, pinning his arms to the ground and with a giant grin painted on her face. Naota, at first, was contemplating spitting in her face to show just how ticked he was at being repeatedly bashed with a massive bass guitar, but noticed that Haruko wasn't looking at his face but his forehead.  
  
" Oh no…" Naota muttered, looking up he could make out something that he thought would never come back. He had seen no reason to keep the eyebrows with Haruko gone, especially after Amaro discontinued contact with him, he was no longer important to the IIB and was discarded by them, just like Haruko had discarded him…and Mamimi… Three long pointed spike like masses of flesh stuck straight out of Naota's head like upside down nails, a N-O Channel had been opened…  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Medical Mechanica Base 12:05 AM  
  
" Commander Amaro! We've got one HUGE energy reading up in the mountains! It's the biggest we've ever seen, even bigger than the ones exhibited five years ago!" Kitsurubami yelled, excitement and an edge of fear nudging its way into her voice.  
  
" Naota…" Amaro voiced silently, as he looked at the massive screen that displayed a map and one, large red beeping area that showed where the energy reading was coming from…


	6. We Didn't Start The Inferno

**Disclaimer:** FLCL and all characters involved within are not mine but property of Gainax studios. Any original characters/places/ideas are all mine however.

**Author's Note:** I liked writing this chapter, but noticeable spent more time on Amaro and the IIB then the actual robot, but oh well, I'll work balancing that sutff out next time. Also, thank you everyone for your great reviews.

" Come on Men, let's move, move, MOVE!" Amaro called from a megaphone from his jeep, which was speeding at well over ninety miles per hour. Behind him ran nearly half of all the agents in the IIB, stumbling over each other and breathing hard as they tried to keep up with the speeding jeep.

" Wouldn't it be easier if we gave them jeeps to travel in to, sir?" Kitsurubami asked over her shoulder, taking her eyes of the road momentarily to shoot a questioning glance at Amaro.

" A valid suggestion, but we kill two birds with one stone here. You see, the agents have been getting rather chunky around the waist lately and need the exercise." Amaro said, almost arrogantly, as his second in command had failed to see the obvious benefits of his plans. To further the effect he adjusted his sunglasses with his index finger, sure that they glinted in a super cool adult way to show his suaveness and intellect. Kitsurubami just rolled her eyes at him, typical Amaro, he was ALWAYS compensating for something. After seeing how small a guitar Haruko had taken from his head five years ago, she was pretty sure what it was.

"What's the other bird then, Commander Amaro?" she asked Amaro, still glancing over her shoulder and not paying any attention as the jeep popped onto the sidewalk, running over Kamon who had finally found enough strength to get to his feet. Needless to say, he went flying into the air, landing with a crash in a nearby dumpster.

" Uh…Well…that is…Lieutenant Kitsurubami, your orders are to drive, not ask questions! " Amaro replied, somewhat flustered, his big bushy eyebrows twitching in agitation, finally going back to yelling "encouragement" to the IIB agents through a megaphone.

"You call that RUNNING!? My Grandmother can run faster than that and she has only one leg AND is DEAD!" Amaro screamed into the megaphone, standing up in the back of the army-type jeep. Unfortunately, Kitsurubami hit a pothole at that exact moment, sending Amaro tumbling out of the jeep and onto the road, now forcing him to keep up with the fleeing vehicle. He could always stop running, but now the agents were definitely looked ticked enough to kill their commanding officer, enough incentive to keep Amaro at the head of the pack.

---------------------------------------------

" Haruko, exactly WHAT do you expect to come out of my head this time?!" Naota yelled in question, chasing after the frolicking Haruko in an attempt to choke the life from her.

" I told you Taaaaa-kun, I don't know! But telling by the length of those things on your head, you were DEFINTIELY happy to see me!" Haruko said, stopping and turning, pouncing on Ta-kun and begging to measure the exact length, width, and height of the horns, despite Naota's best attempts to swat her away.

"Would you knock that stuff off!" Naota yelled again, making various attempts to scramble out of Haruko's strong grasp as she wriggled around Naota, squashing him in hugs or prodding and pinching him.

"Only on ONE condition!" Haruko said, finally stopping and standing in front of Naota, grasping her bass behind her back.

" And what's that?" Naota asked suspiciously, taking a quick step back from Haruko. He was preparing to spring backwards as if she was a hungry crocodile, about to snap his hand off.

" Tell me you love me again!" Haruko said, her grin becoming even bigger, if that was even possible, even leaning forward slightly to hear Naota's forthcoming response.

"I-uh…well…I…y'see" Naota fumbled for words. He was tempted to tell her that he no longer had feelings for her anymore and frankly she should just buzz off for all he cared, but he would care if she left again. And, to be frank, he wasn't sure about his feelings for Haruko in the least.

" That…won't…BE NECESSARY!" a loud voiced called out as an army jeep with Kitsurubami driving screeched to a halt in front of the duo. Naota looked up in blank surprise as while Haruko's face seemed to skewer up in that fine line between insanity and rage, or both.

" I won't let you cause the same trouble you did five years ago, Haruhara Haruko!" Amaro said between huffing and puffing, his eyebrows twitching nervously, as he finally caught up to the jeep, whipping out two steel polished pistols. As if on cue, all of his agents slid up next to and behind him, making a sort of ridiculous pose that Amaro was so fond of.

" Do I gotta kick your ass again you primitive monkey!?" Haruko screamed angrily, spinning her bass up and around in front of her and cocking it like a shotgun. Naota stared dumbly with a blank expression, standing right in between the two adversaries.

" I told you that's very discriminatory remarks!" Amaro called back, ordering his men with a motion of his hand to start blasting away at Haruko, which they did in one big blast. Uzis, shotguns, semi-autos, grenade launchers, rocket launchers, military machine guns, and pistols all went off in one ear-splitting, mind-numbing explosion of bullet sprays, all aimed at Haruko.

" YOU'RE USING OLD TACTICS YOU IDIOT!" Haruko remarked, nimbly jumping aside each and every bullet, spinning about and pumping the neck of her shotgun, cocking and firing huge blasts from the top of her Rickenbacker bass, blowing away large sections of his agents.

Several agents began to charge Haruko. One jumped up into the air, firing madly at the alien woman with his uzis. Haruko rolled forward, spun around on her knee and blasted the agent right out of the air. In one snapping back flip she pushed off, hard, against an approaching agent behind her and propelled herself, firing wildly, straight into a group of firing agents, a look of insane rage painted on her face.

Haruko's charging form hit the main group of agents with such a blast that a huge cloud of dust and dirt shot straight up. When the smoke cleared, Haruko stood victoriously on top of a pile of very injured and groaning mass of IIB agents. After a moment she turned to look at Amaro who still sat in his completely moronic pose, holding his dual pistols across him, his glasses glinting. The only thing that betrayed his absolute incredulousness at the situation was a nervous twitching of his caterpillar eyebrows and a sweat bead that slowly rolled down his face.

" Don't worry commander, I got her!" Kitsurubami said, jumping onto a rotating machine gun turret that expanded out of the back of the jeep. Slapping a professional soldier's helmet on, she lined up her sights and started ripping up the earth and the forest around them as she fired wildly.

During this time Naota had taken cover under a nearby bush, prepared to wait out this nonsense that Amaro had decided to create over a little bit of a hurt pride. Naota wasn't sure how many times Haruko had to humiliate him before he gave up constantly trying to beat Haruko with just brute force and a seemingly endless supply of generic IIB agents.

Haruko danced around the bullets just as she had earlier, swinging her base around and smashing the side of the jeep, sending it flying wildly, end over end, up into the air and crashing somewhere deep in the forest. Kitsurubami was seen jumping from the jeep, a small figure floating down on a parachute marking her position. Haruko, not ready to let her get off so easy, lined up her guitar/shotgun and blasted at the parachute. Seconds later, the parachute deflated and the figure dropped into the forest.

Haruko turned back around to face Amaro, who finally stood up straight. Without words, he flung himself to his left, firing his dual pistols like crazy at Haruko, who mimicked his movements and likewise firing her shotgun. Both landed and rolled, then hopping over an injured IIB agent. Amaro ducked down and rolled again, firing the rest of the clip from each of his pistols. Not losing his cool (even though his heart was beating like a rabbit's), Amaro did something entirely unexpected, he charged Haruko. Amaro snapped a dropkick and miraculously knocked the bass out of Haruko's hands. Haruko, not to be outdone, slipped on a pair of smooth, black glasses, and jumping back, staring Amaro down.

"You will regret that, Mr. Monkey-scum" Haruko remarked, then bring her teeth and jumping forward, going through various martial art kicks and punches. Amaro, still looking just as cool as ever with his slick sunglasses, parried Haruko's attacks and countered with some of his own, unsuccessfully.

Amaro quick turned around, running towards a random tree. Haruko followed suit until Amaro quickly jumped up against the tree trunk and flipped and propelled himself over Haruko, landing softly behind her. Haruko ducked the hook kick that followed soon after, turning about and attempting to sweep kick the IIB Commander, who jumped over the outstretched leg. Amaro then went to make a devastating double punch, but faster alien woman quickly trapped his arms under her armpits, her hands resting on the upper part of his biceps, bringing the two extremely close. Haruko leaned in, almost as if she was going to plant one on Amaro, which made the IIB commander blush profusely and begin to pucker up himself.

"Not on your life you dweeb!" Haruko grinned savagely and disengaged herself and delivered a bone crunching uppercut right into Amaro's jaw, sending him flying in the air and into the general part of the forest where Kitsurubami had landed. In fact, he landed right on top of her with a loud "UMPH".

Naota hesitantly popped out of the bushes, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking at the mess. Haruko wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, turning around to grin at Naota.

"My Hero!" Haruko remarked in giddiness, running over to Naota and jumping right into his arms, which weren't exactly waiting for her. Naota nearly fell over from the sudden impact and it took every ounce of gracefulness that he could muster to stay balanced.

" Whaddya mean 'Hero'? I hid the entire ti-MFFFGGH!" Naota never finished as Haruko predictably forced herself on him again, kissing him rather deeply, putting a hand behind his head to stop him from pulling away, as he always did. After long moments of trapping Naota in the extremely passionate kiss, Naota finally began to turn an unhealthy shade of blue, dropping Haruko right on her bottom. Before he could even yell at her, however, a sudden shockwave of pain shooting through Naota's head sent him reeling.

Another red hot burst sent Naota stumbling backwards against a tree. The pain seemed to stop momentarily, the teen breathing a sigh of relief, and then suddenly the three long spikes began to burst out like grappling hooks from his head. Naota's eyes went blank as the long spikes finally disconnected from Naota's head and smashed together, suddenly expanding into a thirty foot tall monster of a robot.

The robot itself stood thirty feet tall, shiny chrome metal covered a somewhat deformed body, with the 'face' (just two huge eyes, really) sitting at the very center of the robot's chest. The arms of the robot was a large, glowing, chainsaw for one arm, and a huge grenade launcher for the other. Two massive wheels acted as the colossus robot's legs.

The robot suddenly rose into the air on two great fiery arcs that burst from the boosters on its back, taking Naota with it, hanging dangerously close to the chainsaw arm. A sudden, bright burst flew from the two 'eyes' of the robot, instantly torching anything it touched. The robot also, as unsuccessfully as the eyebeams, shot at Haruko with it's massive shotgun arm.

" Ha! That thing isn't that big at all! You losing your touch Ta-kun?" Haruko grinned, running towards the massive robot and jumping in the air, but not with enough height to smack the robot with her bass, but just enough to land on the incoming Canti, who seemingly appeared of nowhere. Haruko, landing smoothly on Canti's back, turning him around and riding him like a surfboard toward the massive creature.

Naota hung on for dear-life as the fast approaching Haruko, in one fluid movement, jumped from the flying Canti, winding up her swing, and finally smashing the biggest eye of the robot, smashing it into pieces, then floating back down to the back of Canti again. The robot that had emerged from Naota's head began to swing wildly at Haruko with its glowing chainsaw, and firing almost a continuous stream of instant inferno starting laser fire from its remaining eye, always missing. Needless to say, the laser blasts themselves began to set the entire forest aflame, a huge smoke cloud beginning to rise above it.

By this time, Canti had turned about and brought Haruko in, even faster. Haruko brought her bass back and then brought it forward with all her might, smashing it against the deformed robot. A loud, deep bass chord filled the air as the bass reverberated against the robot's body for a moment, before the robot itself crumbled almost into nothing, Naota landing on Canti and blacking out.

The fragments of the robot didn't float to the ground but, instead, raced and slammed together, turning into a white ball of flame, shooting high into the sky and exploding visibly deep in space mere seconds later. Haruko looked up and grinned, taking note of exactly where the white ball of flame had exploded.

"One piece down…." Haruko muttered, then stamped on Canti's back, "Take us home, Mr. Canti" Haruko ordered, the grin still plastered onto her face which eased into a soft smile as she looked down at the unconscious form of Naota.

------------------------------

Deep in Space, somewhere between Earth and Mars

A long, abysmal rip seemed to crack just slightly right in the very fabric of space, a glowing aura of yellow pulsed and danced quietly within. The spot was exactly where the white ball of flame had exploded.


	7. PowerWalking On Sunshine

**Disclaimer:** FLCL nor any characters/places/names within are my own but property of Gainax studios. any original characters/places/etc are mine.

**Author's Note: **This one went kind of...slow, my sincere apologies. I thought I'd get in some Kamon/Haruko comedy there, hope you enjoy, much fighting coming soon!

A soft tickle brushed against Naota's forehead. The seventeen year old stayed asleep, maybe Miyu-Miyu was wandering around again. Then it happened again, the same soft tickle, but what WAS it? It wasn't fuzzy like Miyu-Miyu's tail, it felt like a soft breeze. Naota, through his completely groggy and sleep phased mind, dismissed the wayward slight gust of air. It kept coming though, slowly, and constantly in the same place. Groaning inwardly, Naota opened his eyes, ready to go and close the open window.  
  
" Mmmffg! Mmmggh!" Naota's sounds of shock were muffled by Haruko, his head pressed firmly into her chest with one arm wrapped around his back and the other around the back of his head, as if he were some overgrown teddy bear.  
  
Naota began to flail, rather wildly, with his current position. He didn't remember much of anything after the battle with the massive robot that had grown from his head, but he was pretty certain that he hadn't done something foolish like give Haruko permission to sleep with him!  
  
Haruko, completely oblivious to Naota and still snoring slightly, rolled over, right on top of Naota and smothering him between her and the mattress. Naota's eyes bugged out as his face was forced into Haruko's cleavage, trying futilely to push Haruko right off him. Despite Haruko's slight form, she seemed extremely heavy and Naota couldn't find any amount of strength to escape her grasp. Just when Naota was sure he'd die of suffocation by way of being suffocated by breasts, Haruko's eyes slowly fluttered open. The alien woman looked about a moment, rather groggily, not showing any sign that she knew that she was holding down a gasping and flailing Naota.  
  
" Oh, hello Ta-kun, sleep well?" Haruko asked, a coy smile forming on her lips as she finally addressed the now-turning-blue Naota, who still struggled vainly. After a moment more of just smiling down at him, she finally moved off the nearly dead Naota, whose face was now in an angry scowl.  
  
"What were you doing sleeping with me!?" Naota asked angrily and pointing an accusing finger at the offending Haruko who put on a mock surprise expression.  
  
"You don't remember!? Ta-kun it was the absolute BEST sex I've had in…Oh…" she stopped, counting on her fingers for a few moments, "FOREVER!" Haruko exclaimed, stopping to put one hand over her mouth and blushing profusely, obviously faking the entire thing but that didn't comfort Naota any. Of course before Naota could even make some remark denying it, things went from weird to weirder as Kamon burst into Naota's room.   
  
" AH-HAH! I have caught you again doing very, very perverted things with Haruko-san my son. MY VENGEANCE WILL BE SWIFT!" Kamon blabbered as he kicked in Naota's door, and then leaving with a pose and a flourish. Both Naota and Haruko watched the entire scene blankly and stayed that way as several crashing sounds accompanied by shouts and groans.  
  
Moments later Kamon came stomping back into the room, in the most unusual costume Naota had ever seen. Kamon wore a baggy orange gi with similarly baggy pants, black boots, and a blue type sash that went around his middle. On the back of his gi was a large kanji word saying "The Burger King" and on the front a smaller word that said "Golden Arches Hermit".  
  
" Salmon swims up stream! Dances with Elk! The Violet Pumpernickel!" Kamon shouted off, going into several wacky poses that were supposed to pass of as genuine martial arts stances. Naota stared at him hardly impressed.  
  
" Dad…" Naota began, noticing the lack of Haruko who had sat on the bed next to him, moments ago.  
  
"Quiet Ta-kun! I am the father and the master and therefore am superior in wisdom and wiseness and should not be interrupted…" Kamon began to rebuke Naota.  
  
" But Dad…." Naota again interrupted, trying to pull off the miracle of getting his father's attention when he was off rambling.  
  
"…I am trendy and cool and have caught you disgracing my honor by making out with Haruko-san and as such you must be punished.." Kamon continued rambling like an idiot.  
  
" DAD!!!" Naota yelled over the rambling and standing up suddenly, finally stopping Kamon's rant.  
  
" What IS IT Ta-kun!?" Kamon asked finally. Naota pointed for his father to look behind him.  
  
" Oh, Haruko-sa-AAUUGGHH!!!!" Kamon was smacked hard with the bass that Haruko wielded, knocking him right through the gaping hole that had been boarded and then re-boarded up in Naota's room.  
  
"Haruko-san you are so crruuueeelll! I am YOURS!" Kamon could be heard remarking faintly as Haruko jumped through the whole and chased the much-abused but entirely deserving Kamon, swinging her bass at him, all of which could probably level an apartment complex.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sometime later….  
  
Naota walked down the street of Mabase, with absolutely no place to go. He had needed to clear his head and with the time he had obtained with Haruko out hunting Kamon, he had an undisturbed stroll through the secular and out of the way village.  
  
" Hey! Naota!" a familiar and not entirely unwelcome voice called out, accompanied by the familiar sounds of the old truck that his friend, Masashi, always seemed to be driving.  
  
" Hey Masashi! Done with deliveries?" Naota asked, stopping and spinning around to face his friend who sat at the wheel of his dull green truck that was in some disrepair.  
  
" Naw, I got one last stop to make, feel like coming with me?" Masashi asked, kicking open the passenger door to the old truck, the door groaning in some resistance.  
  
" Yeah, sure, why not?" Naota grinned slightly, hopping into the rickety truck, somewhat relieved that he could find some time away from the incredibly insane Haruko.  
  
" So, what've you been up to in the last few days? I haven't seen you in school, have you been sick?" Masashi asked, shifting the truck into gear and practically flooring it down the small streets of Mabase, but handling the old truck with ease.  
  
" Oh…uh…not exactly…just…you know…Kamon is freaking out again over his editor job and I needed to stick around and help out some." Naota lied horribly, but Masashi didn't question it much to Naota's disbelief and relief.  
  
" Y'know Naota, if ya got something on your mind, you can tell me. I mean, we're best friends, right?" Masashi asked, looking over at Naota to gauge his reaction, which was a readily given nod. It was true, when Haruko and Mamimi had left only Eri, Gaku, and Masashi had really become close to him. In fact, Naota would have been with Eri all that time that he had spent with Haruko in the past day or so, had she not been on a trip to America to visit some sort of distant family.  
  
" Yeah, I know Masashi, it's nothin'." Naota replied but instead of continuing in the usual frivolous conversation that he usually engaged in, they spent the rest of the car ride in complete silence.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Masashi dropped Naota at his house after making the last delivery. The two friends hadn't spoke nearly the entire ride until the very end, just when they were nearing the Nabada abode and Masashi had begun to slow up the truck.  
  
" You've really changed Naota…" Masashi had said and then leaned over and opened Naota's door. Naota looked at Masashi quizzically, wondering if he had an explanation, but with nothing forthcoming, he stepped out of the truck and slowly trudged into his house.  
  
Naota looked about his almost empty house, ignoring the mass of bruised and cut flesh that was his father who was half submerged into the food disposal in the sink, obviously put their by an angry Haruko at Kamon's unwanted attention and advances.  
  
Stalking upstairs to his room, Naota slid open his door, only to be exposed to the entirely node form of Haruko who was drying her wet hair with a towel. Naota froze up entirely, his eyes getting huge and his arms seemingly becoming frozen to his sides.  
  
" Oh hey Ta-kun! Just took a shower! Beating the living primordial ooze out of your father sure works up a sweat." Haruko said, rather cheerfully, once she notice the intruding Naota, who continued to stare.  
  
Naota, very stiffly, turned his back to Haruko as nosebleed started to form, his face a deep red as he blushed profusely at the situation. Naota was about to leave the room when the slender fingered hand of Haruko slid the door shut in front of Naota. Naota made a noise somewhere between a gulp and a groan as Haruko pressed up against Naota's back, draping her right arm over his shoulder, lazily drawing circles on his chest with her index finger.   
  
"What's wrong, hmmm Ta-kun? You must have seen plenty of naked girls already you're so maannnlllyyy" Haruko teased, resting her chin on his right shoulder and licking his earlobe. Naota tensed up at the contact and pretty much fell limp. Haruko, with a shrug, just dropped him to the floor, getting dressed in an almost exact duplicate of her previous outfit.  
  
" Haruko, exactly what happened since when that thing came out of my head? And, as a matter of fact, WHY are things coming out of my head?" Naota finally asked, getting up and moving over to the bed.  
  
Haruko sauntered toward the sitting Naota, opened her mouth as if she was finally about to speak, then swung her bass around and smacked Naota directly out the gaping hole in his room, landing in a heap on the cracked pavement next to his house.  
  
" You wouldn't understand Ta-kun, you're STILL just a kid!" Haruko said, leaning out of the hole and sticking her tongue out at him, then disappearing into the Nabada household.  
  
" Damn it Haruko! I'm gonna get the truth out of you even if I have to…eh…well, I'LL DO IT!" Naota yelled back, bringing himself to his feet and running into the house, much too steamed to notice as a whole bunch of spikes, comparable to the noses of a rocket, began to rise out of his head….


	8. Renegade, Renegade

**Disclaimer:** FLCL is property of Gainax studios. Any original characters/places/ideas/etc are mine.

**Author's Note:** Trying to make a good mix between romance, humor, and action. I found that usually two go together but not all three rather smoothly, the way I type a chapter anyways, so big action chapter comes up next.

Naruko trudged into his house, an absolutely dreadful look on his face, his red cap turned backward on his head to hide the massive bumps that would, undoubtedly, turn into some giant robot eventually. Haruko marched in behind Naota, dragging her Rickenbacker base and almost perfectly emulating the expression on his face.

" Hoooppp----eeerrrrr…Ta-kun I AM your Fathhheeerrr…" Kamon imitated the world famous Darth Vader from Star Wars, hopping out from behind a chair and making fake swings with a plastic light saber. Naota swore that either Kamon was just getting dumber in his old age or Haruko had delivered one too many whacks to his head.

" Yes, I know you are, what a shock." Naota replied in a completely nasty manner, though Kamon didn't seem to notice or care, his helmeted gaze coming to fall on Haruko, looking her up and down, marveling at his genius since Haruko wouldn't be able to see him giving her a rude once over.

" You're moving your head up and down, you idiot." Haruko said flatly to Kamon, already guessing what he had been doing. It seemed that the old man's bag of tricks had finally run out when it came to trying to earn the affections of Haruko. In one fluid motion, Haruko popped open the front of Kamon's helmet and planted her fist right into his face, sending him flying into the wall, not losing a step behind Naota.

" Is something wrong, Naota?" Shingekuni asked, just about the only one in his family that still called the teen Naota after Haruko had arrived.

" I got detention! Thanks to HER!" Naota spun around and put an accusing index finger right on Haruko's collar bone, a angry look plastered on his face.

" I can't help it if your teacher doesn't like her car being fixed for free!" Haruko replied in mock anger, just egging Naota on, as usual. For the past couple of days the endless taunting and teasing had really gotten on Naota's nerves.

" Smashing up her new car is not a definition of 'fixing'!" Naota responded almost instantly, shaking his fist threateningly at Haruko, the entire gesture ignored entirely by the alien woman.

" She had a HUGE dent on the bumper! So I decided to even it out! She should have given you an A not a detention Ta-kun!" Haruko responded, dropping her façade of anger, her trademarked smirk coming to rest on her features.

" A dent that YOU caused! And besides, you smashed up the ENTIRE CHASSIS!" Naota grabbed both sides of his hat in frustration, spun around, and stalked off to his room. After taking a moment to yet again emulate Naota's angry facial features, Haruko stalked off after Naota, to his room.

Shingekuni just went back to sipping his tea, completely ignoring his son who now acted as his new table of groaning, bruised, human flesh. Obviously, Shingekuni had grown tired of his demented son's failed antics.

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"Ta-kun, are you still not talkin at me?" Haruko asked Naota, who was now tired to a chair and scowling angrily at Haruko, his mouth clamped shut. After refusing to respond to Haruko at all, the extraterrestrial had decided to take more drastic measures.

" So it's that way then, huh?" Haruko grinner savagely, having a good idea in mind. Setting her bass next to Naota, she began to just squirm all over Naota, something comparable to a sort of lap dance. Naota began to blush furiously, that is, until Kamon burst in.

" So you think you're hot stuff, do you Ta-kun? Hmmm? Hmmm? Well let me just say…" Kamon never could finish as Haruko whirled around, pumped the neck of her Rickenbacker bass once, and fired a huge shotgun blast right into Kamon's chest, throwing him out the door and through the wall into the next room.

"Wow…lucky I was wearing my bullet proof….vest…" Kamon remarked as he began to crawl back into the room. Haruko, finally at her nerve's end with Kamon, whirled around and blasted Kamon six times in quick succession, blasting him back to where he had been, his bulletproof vest smoking.

"Now…where were we?" Haruko grinned at the blushing Naota again, when a knock came at the door, easily heard from the duo's current position. A moment passed and Shingekuni answered the door.

" Hi…is Naota home?" a feminine voice floated up to the room, which Naota easily recognized. With some sort of super human strength, Naota broke the rope bonds binding him, standing up suddenly, head butting Haruko in the process, and running down the stairs in a flash.

" Eri! " Naota said, rather happily, nearly kicking his grandfather out of the way of Eri's vision, a broad smile on his face as he faced his friend Eri Ninamori.

" Hi Naota! We just got back and I decided to come over…I thought you might want to know I'm back?" Eri replied to the one word, yet entirely ecstatic greeting by Naota.

" Yeah, sure! Come on- Heeeyyy Ta-kun, looks it's that girl who rigged the play for you…" Haruko interrupted, draping her arms over Naota's shoulders and settling her chin on her right arm, looking lazily at Eri.

" Haruko?" Eri questioned, blinking her eyes slightly in surprise, obviously having rather mixed feelings about her. She HAD been the one responsible for making a massive robot come out of her head.

" The one and only…" Haruko replied with a smirk, making a point to nibble on Naota's earlobe, making the younger man flinch and wishing he had a guitar himself to bash Haruko with.

" So you two are together then…?" Eri asked, trying to seem entirely neutral on the subject but Naota thought he might of caught some sort of hurt in her eyes. Naota quickly shook his head, trying to pry the now much more bold Haruko away from him.

" What? No, not at all!" Naota replied vehemently, turning around , setting a foot against Haruko stomach and trying to push off and away from her frantically. Haruko, after a moment, obliged him, letting go suddenly and sending Naota stumbling backward into Eri and out the door.

" Ahhhh, time for 'adult time', eh Haruko?" Kamon asked, appearing from the nearby closet, sliding the door shut and locking it.

" What don't you understand about NEVER GETTING A THING OUT OF ME!?" Haruko asked, rather loudly. Then, in a rather eerie calm, began rolling up her sleeves.

" I guess I'll have to BEAT you into understanding" Haruko said, an insane edge entering her voice. For the first time in a long, long while, Kamon began to worry for his physical health.

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" Are you alright?" Naota asked with a sigh, getting up then helping Eri to her feet. Naota sent a much annoyed look over his shoulder to the now shut door.

" Yeah, don't worry about it Naota, it wasn't near as bad when Haruko ran us both over…you remember, right?" Eri tried to relive the tension, but unsuccessfully as Naota didn't want to remember anything about the 'good ol' days' with Haruko using his head as a living baseball.

" Yeah…uh, sure." Naota replied, falling silent afterward into his own deep thoughts, amazed that he could even think deeply after the beating that his head takes. An awkward silence followed for a few long moments.

" Well, I guess I'll be going home then…" Eri said after a few moments, beginning to turn on her heels before Naota quickly placed a hand on her shoulder. Eri turned, the two long time friends, (who also carried a secret crush for the other), locked eyes, Naota began to move forward for a kiss, puckering his lips slightly.

" AYYAAAHHHH!!!!" came a horrific scream from the Nabada household, startling both teenagers and making them turn to examine the house with rather confused looks on their faces.

" No! Not that! Haruko-san please! It's all I have left! No, please DON'T!" Kamon's voice trailed off as a terrifically loud crunch resounded across the entire neighborhood, followed quickly by another earsplitting scream from Kamon.

" She BROKE IT! My…my PRIDE! The only thing that still worked correctly! THE ONLY THING I HAD GOING FOR ME IN GETTING GIRLS!" Kamon was yelling in disbelief from the upper story of the house. Haruko walked out the door, cracking her knuckles loudly, hopping on her Vespa and driving off without a word. Eri and Naota stood there in stark shock.

" She destroyed my official World War II air pistol and shred apart my red suit, white pants outfit!" came a hysterical Kamon's voice. Naota shook his head in disgust at the absolute eccentric that was his father.

" Sorry about th-" Naota began to apologize for the sheer stupidity of his father and Haruko, turning around only to have his lips meet Eri's in a quick yet meaningful kiss. Naota stared in absolute shock, having a hard time to say anything that wouldn't seem stupid and wreck the moment.

" Look Naota, I really like you" Eri's voice led off, unsure of what to say and lowering her head as a bright blush started to cover her face. She turned her back to Naota in a failed attempt at hiding hit, putting her hands to her beat red face.

"I…uh…well…I…really like you too, Eri." Naota managed to breathe in surprise. Naota began to say something more but a horrific wave of pain came charging through his senses, nearly knocking Naota off his feet. Naota clutched at his head as several huge spikes shout out, making his head look like a giant depth charge.

---------------------------------------------

Haruko, riding around on her Vespa and smashing random mailboxes that she saw with her Rickenbacker bass, turned her Vespa suddenly, cocking her head slightly as if she heard some faint noise.

Suddenly, down where she had left Naota and Eri a huge rumbling was heard and then a crash as a monstrous form was silhouetted against the afternoon sun. Haruko turned her Vespa around and set off in the direction of the Nabada home, a grin of satisfaction on her face…


	9. Sympathy for the Alien

**Disclaimer:** FLCL is property of Gainax studios. All original character/places/ideas/etc are mine

**Author's Note:** This change in scenery is either win big or lose horribly. Please keep reviewing! I try to churn out a chapter a day for your viewing pleasure!

" N-Naota?" Eri asked startled, stepping back tentatively as Naota grabbed at his head, his face twisting into one of excruciating pain. Besides his pained expression on his face, his entire body seemed to go limp, falling to his knees before a multitude of spikes burst from his head, like massive porcupine quills.

Naota's eyes rolled into the back of his head, momentarily beginning to fall to his side before the quills exploded outward, growing substantially within seconds until Naota was rocketed up far above Eri's head, the massive spikes shooting up around her like a cage.

Eri stood motionless, as she could faintly see a large red eye open at the top of Naota's head. Split seconds after that a small but much fatter horn ripped out of Naota's head, Naota sitting upon the top of the creature that had emerged.

Naota groaned, picking himself up momentarily, then looking down at Eri, who stood in something between fear and stark shock, gazing up at the massive creature that had emerged from Naota's head so suddenly.

As if there was some unspoken command, the creature threw itself into motion, its one massive eye opening, a long laser burst slicing like a sword through the nearest apartment building in one lightning quick stroke. The robotic monstrosity, which looked much like some sort of enormous spider and was nearly as tall as the apartment building it had jus cut cleanly in half, began to move downtown, blasting and slicing absolutely everything with it's monstrous glowing eye…

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Haruko sped through the now deserted streets of Mabase, most people likely hiding themselves in their basements or in bomb shelters at the first signs of destruction. The alien took a moment to wonder exactly what had set off Naota's N-O Channel. Haruko had noticed long before that most reactions happened when Naota unveiled truthful feelings or experienced some sort of extreme emotions. The only person Haruko had left Naota with was that Eri girl.

" What would he have to tell her-" Haruko stopped herself mid-sentence, already guessing at the answer. Setting her face in a determined look, something obviously rare and never seen by anyone on the planet Earth, Haruko sped the Vespa up a set of stairs, hitting the sidewalk and flipping high into the air.

In mid flight, Haruko dropped off the back of the yellow Vespa, unslinging her Bass and setting her feet on it, hitting a rail seconds later and gliding down it as if the bass were a skateboard. Haruko shot from pole to gutter to rail to rooftop, finally flinging herself high into the air as she neared the creature, its back to her. Naota clung to the robot's main body as its spindly legs moved rapidly, moving lightning fast for its remarkable size.

With one fluid wrist motion, Haruko pulled her bass out from under her, opening her arms wide. Moments later Haruko grabbed hold of one of the massive leg parts, swinging herself up and on top of the leg, leaping from one to the next, hopping closer and closer to Naota, her Rickenbacker bass grasped tightly in her right hand.

Just when Haruko neared Naota's position on the central section of the robotic spider, a sudden whirring sound floated through the air, drowning out even the destruction of the buildings. Haruko stopped, standing atop the moving leg, seeming to easily keep her balance despite the constant jerking of the limbs. Haruko's eyes spotted it the source of the noise, a huge green-yellow ball of energy being hurled at thousands of miles per hour toward the rampaging monster.

Haruko, in a desperate leap, reached out and grabbed the semi-huddled form of Naota, taking him in her arms and speeding right over the edge of the creature, the limp Naota under one arm and her bass in the other, speeding towards the ground at a rate faster than most humans would prefer to hit (as being turned into human jelly doesn't really appeal to many people). Haruko yet again went to position the duo on her bass only to have them thrown even farther as the green yellow ball of energy smashed into the side of the robotic creature, blowing off several legs and sending it sprawling.

The terrific explosion threw the unlikely duo hurdling with great force. Naota, who had been in a state of semi-conscious (he's been out of practice with massive monsters coming out of his head), blinked then looked around, feeling disoriented. That was when Naota noticed that he was being hurled roughly towards a rather unpleasant looking, spiked fence. Naota began to utter some sort of prayer to God that it was a dream before a purple van pulled up suddenly with a screech, it's sliding passenger door open. Naota and Haruko flew into the van and smashed against the other side, distorting their faces against the glass window.

" Ow…" the teen and alien echoed in unison, sliding off the window as whoever was driving the van floored it, spinning around a corner and taking off down the street.

It could only have been some sort of divine intervention or pure dumb luck as the van sped away just in time to avoid the oncoming barrage of massive energy blasts, ripping huge smoldering craters of ripped pavement and broken pipes, the only thing left from Naota head. A small ball of reddish flame then began to develop, but one final massive energy blast made it dissolve in the much larger energy blast.

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" Commander Amarao!" second in command Kitsurubami called to Amarao, who was pacing back and fourth, chin up, and trying to contemplate exactly how to deal with this situation. The IIB here on Earth wasn't equipped to battle space pirates, especially since the Earth was under Medical Mechanica's "Don't Damage" list.

" What's happening now?" Amarao asked, striding over quickly to Kitsurubami's side, looking up at the massive screen that displayed all varieties of data in an endless stream to the IIB headquarters.

" It's the pirates, they're entering Earth's atmosphere!" Kitsurubami's voice echoed her worry, there were no flat landing places in their general vicinity, not to fit the massive spaceship that the pirates piloted. Amarao grimaced, realizing they were going to have to make one then.

" Right, keep everyone else here, Kitsurubami, come with me." Amarao ordered, walking calmly out from the command center toward the parking lot and hopping in the jeep. The IIB commander was sure he could clear this up rather easily, wave his badge around, drop the Medical Mechanica name a couple of times, and the pirates would likely leave.

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" Haruko….what the HELL WAS THAT STUFF!?" Naota began pulling his hair out, finally recovering from the shock of nearly being impaled horribly, ending his very short life.

" Space to planet barrage. I'd say a P class frigate, so it's probably space pirates. Anything military would have blown us straight to hell and black and they could have been a couple hundred miles off." Haruko said matter-of-factly but so entirely calm that Naota was even more annoyed then before.

"SPACE PIRATES!? Wait…how do you know all this stuff anyways? And why are you so damn calm!? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CAT?" Naota was losing it, Haruko would have recommended he take a valium but she was too busy pulling Miyu-Miyu from a small backpack, that really was a transportable wormhole that she ordered from the home shopping network.

" Right….No, improve aim…yea, he's here…I told you not to bring that up again!…you're really ruining our chances of getting it…" Haruko began to speak to the backside of Miyu Miyu as if it were some sort of transmitter. Sighing in exasperation, Naota turned to the driver of the van, entirely forgetting about their rescuer.

" Eri?!" Naota expressed his surprise as he looked around the car seat at Ninamori Eri who drove at breakneck speeds, a deep scowl on her face.

" Oh, Naota, are you guys Ok? I got worried about you two and grabbed my mom's van, right in the nick of time it seems." Eri spoke to Naota as if he were a second, glancing over at him quickly when he crept into the front passenger seat, Haruko chatted lazily with Miyu Miyu as if nothing were wrong.

" Yeah, thanks to you Eri…" Naota tried to express his sincerity at having his life saved, but Eri seemed to concerned with driving at the quickest pace possible along the thin streets of Mabase. Naota sighed, looking back at the languid Haruko, wondering what he had blundered into now.

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" Faster Kitsurubami!" Amarao ordered, his eyebrows twitching like they had a life of their own and going over a checklist of everything he needed. Super sleek sunglasses, check, signed medical insurance and donor card, check, really shiny IIB badge, check.

" Yes sir." Kitsurubami answered, but rolled her eyes, unless Amarao were deaf or blind he wouldn't miss the massive traffic jam that they were stuck in. The line of cars seemed to go on for miles.

"Oh come on, GO ALREADY! Oh, that's real funny buddy, how about I just blast your car into oblivion with this anti-tank rifle?" Kiturubami yelled, waving her fist as the man in front of her, who fueled her anger even more by making several hand gestures that even Howard Stern might gasp at.

Kitsurubami hit the gas, slamming the jeep into the back of the car and destroying the back end of it. Slowly, the hummer climbed up and on top of the car, then driving finally off of it. No one messes with a stressed Kitsurubami.

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" There…land there." a deep and guttural sounding voice ordered, one slimy, green hand, which had all five fingers of a human hand but was webbed slightly in-between.

" Yes Cap'n" an obedient voice, just as guttural, echoed the captain's commands, a slimy finger tapping a large red button, huge energy balls leveling the hillside around Mabase. Other slimy hands reached out, pressing intricately made buttons, and a helmsman, turning hard on the control to land the massive spaceship.

Anywhere on the ship, however, one could hear the stamping of many feet as pirate after pirate exited the armory, preparing for the oncoming invasion. Earth wouldn't fall to Medical Mechanica, it would fall to the most feared pirates in the universe, the Yank-a-Tentacle Pirates…


End file.
